Archive for December, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Posted in News by Sniff on Monday, December 21st, 2009

Hello gang,

So that’s it for Sniff Petrol in 2009, not that there was very much of it anyway. Don’t worry, there is AN PLAN brewing to make sure new issues are published more regularly in 2010. Bet you can’t wait to see the dismal way in which that goes awry. Anyway, a Crazy Dave’s chin-sized thank you to everyone who has followed this website over the past 12 months, and a particularly hearty cheers to those 4500 or so people who are following Sniff Petrol on Twitter. Expect more live F1 race smart-arsery when the new season starts.

Have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Cheers,

Sniff

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PLEASE BUY THIS BOOK

Posted in Random cack by Sniff on Monday, December 21st, 2009

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If you like Top Gear but you wish it was a silly book written by Sniff Petrol rather than a silly television programme written by Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May with some shit jokes added by Sniff Petrol then the Big Book of Top Gear 2010 is the answer to your frankly rather weird dreams.

Inside its lavishly tooled pages you’ll find all manner of nonsense about Clarkson’s new exercise DVD, Hammond’s adventures as a 1930s comic book hero and the baffling instruction manual for May’s latest sat-nav system, plus lashings of other toss including an exclusive peek inside the Stig’s house, a look at TG spin offs around the world, and at least seven references to the actor Nigel Havers.

The Big Book of Top Gear 2010 – because let’s face it, it’s nearly Christmas and you’ll be fucked if you don’t buy your brother something soon.

Make with the clickery to order it from Amazon, even though it probably won’t turn up in time. You’ll just have to go to an actual shop. Sorry.

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ATTENTION CLASSIC MOTORSPORT FANS

Posted in News by Sniff on Monday, December 21st, 2009

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Listen up car racing fans; Sniff Petrol’s mate Jim has put together another of his superb bring-a-tear-to-your-glass-eye classic motorsport DVDs and it is your job, nay your duty, to go out and buy it. This one is called 1960s British Single Seater Racing and frankly it does what it says on the tin. Or rather the plastic box. Putting DVDs in a tin is prohibitively expensive. This is my mate Jim we’re talking about, not Lionel sodding Richie. Anyway, here’s a proper explanation about the new DVD from the man behind it:

“The 1960s was the decade that Britain ruled the world in single seater motor racing. British cars like Lotus, Cooper and BRM were driven to devastating effect by star drivers such as Stirling Moss, Graham Hill, Jim Clark and John Surtees. These legendary names raced rival, big-name constructors like Honda or Ferrari or ace overseas drivers such as Jack Brabham, Jochen Rindt and Lorenzo Bandini. Talented film-maker David Roscoe captured all the exciting action on film, which has now been remastered for this exclusive DVD colour compilation; covering single seater racing from the Sixties of every description, from Formula Junior to Formula 1.”

Cheers Jim. It’s only £9.99 and you can buy it here. So please do so. Thanks.

JENSON’S CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST REVEALED!

Posted in Motorsport by Sniff on Monday, December 21st, 2009

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A-rumble with palpable potency

Posted in Troy Queef by Troy Queef on Monday, December 21st, 2009

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Crisp crystalline snow swaddles the somnambulant scene like a talcum powder duvet, smothering and smoothing all detail into one icy entropy. All is calm, all is white, yet amidst this monochrome magnificence two yellow pools make their presence felt, like flickering floods of mid-air dog piss. But these are not the ammonium outpourings of an electric spaniel; these are piercing puddles of light, emanating for the four square stare of quad headlamps.

The beast to which they are attached squats motionless aside the road, its straight six shooter a-rumble with palpable potency as its fluids eventually achieve the warm embrace of their optimum operating temperatures. Let’s do this thing.

Slot shifter through the knuckly nub of the gate into first, let the clutch begin its connecting clasp. All at once I plant the power pedal and feel the swirling surge of whiteout wheelspin. The back steps out and straight away I catch it with a dab of oppo.

Then it swings the other way and we slide into a ditch. Shit.

My sister’s old BMW 325i E30 Touring was a bitch. And I crashed it. Sorry Claire.

TROY T-SHIRTS ARE STILL AVAILABLE

Posted in Troy Queef by Sniff on Monday, December 21st, 2009

The weather being what it is you’re probably thinking about buying a T-shirt about as much as you’re planning to run outside in your pants and swan dive into a massive pile of choc-ices. If, however, you do fancy adding another item to your impeccably tasteful collection of Ts you could do a lot worse than one of the Troy Queef immortalising DAB OF OPPO shirts, made by the splendid people at Slick Attire.

There are now three colours to choose from, and all for the bargain price of just £16.

Get your T-shirt today. You could always do what all da kool kidz iz doin and wear it under some sort of shirt or jacket until the weather warms up a bit. See, Sniff Petrol isn’t just about lame car gags. We do fashion advice now too.

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