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Geneva Show preview

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The Geneva Show of Geneva starts next week in Geneva. If you’re going, here are a few of the expected highlights:

Halle 1 should be high on your ‘must visit’ list, especially if you want to see Klaus Grüber from Wolfenbüttel in Germany who will be sporting a thick and quite extraordinary mass of hair which remains scrupulously short at the front and sides, yet tumbles with abandon like a greasy waterfall over his collar at the back.

Also from the file marked ‘essential’ is a visit to the far back corner of Halle 2 where you may catch a glimpse of Dieter Bödeker from Kapfenburg in Austria who will be showing off a mane of peroxide-ravaged hair which explodes from his head in an exuberant manner, giving him the appearance of a camp lion. There are unconfirmed rumours that Dieter may also wear a very particular style of black leather biker jacket as if he has just escaped from a 1980s music video.

Halle 4 is your destination if you want to catch a glimpse of local man Karl Schuler from Lausanne who will be showcasing a simply extraordinary moustache that, from a distance, might fool onlookers into thinking he has a medium-sized Labradoodle gaffer-taped to his top lip. All indications are that Karl will build on the attraction of his immense facial topiary by showcasing a pair of stridently red trousers that are fractionally too short and give onlookers a tasty glimpse of his white towelling socks.

A day at Geneva’s Geneva Show wouldn’t be complete without a trip to Halle 7 where you stand a good chance of seeing Erjon Haxhi of Tirana, Albania who will be teaming a purple leather jacket with black leather trousers and a lengthy display of black curly hair into which he appears to have rubbed over 17 kilos of butter.

Finally, it will be well worth ending your tour of the show with a quick trip to Halle 6 where you might catch Johanna Kappmeier of Munich with her eye-catching combination of incredibly bright blonde hair in a highly gelled style that makes her look like Brigitte Nielsen’s shit sister, teamed with a pair of extremely elaborate and unusually shaped glasses that you simply wouldn’t be able to buy in the UK.

The Geneva foreigners show runs until 17 March 2013.