Archive for the ‘Crazy Dave Coulthard’ Category

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave Coulthard comin’ atcha with a bulbous package. Of highlights. Hot diggety. So las’ weekend we slide on over Deutsch side fo’ tha German G Piddy. Excellent organisatizzle.

Come tha three stage go-or-go tings get interesting cuz suddenly it get wetter than a ladies’ water polo team when Crazy D walk past rockin’ tha tighty whitey jeans. Fo’ shiggedy. There be thunder an’ shit an’ it be messed up out there. High levels of precipitationizzle.

So ma boy Tha Ham be lookin’ sweet on tha street but then some other cats be all up on he’s shit and he be slidin’ down. And who this be slammin’ it on tha one slot but ma buddy Nando. Man, that homie must have gills. Peerless in difficult conditionizzles.

So, next day, come tha five an’ out, that paella eatin’ muthaflumper be drivin’ away like it Christmas Day. Behind he, there be some mad shit goin’ down wit’ ma brothers Sebby V, Mickey Schu and ma main man K Raikk but tings ain’t so gravy fo’ The Ham. He got some shit goin’ in wit’ he’s rubber. And that ain’t good, know wha’am sayin’ fellas? Bad shit also be goin’ down fo’ ma bro Filly M cuz he be gettin’ in a smackdown and we ain’t seein’ much of he again all afternoon. Yet another completely inadequate performancizzle.

Up tha pointy end it be lookin’ like Nando got tings all he own way, but then who this be comin’ at him like a cat? It’s ma homie Jenny B and that brother is on a charge. He be droppin’ Sebby V in tha dust and ready to take down F Nandiddy like a supermodel’s panties. But then he be flippin’ some yellow G2 shit and suddenly tings ain’t so gravy. He be fallin’ back and Sebby V be on him like ladies of a certain age on Crazy Dave. Sure enough, Tha V be makin’ move and he make it stick but it ain’t legit. Going off the track to gain advantagizzle.

Come tha fizz and rotoflags, Sebby V be on tha twos but he don’ know tha stewards about to take he down. So, tha leave Nando on tha ones, my homie Jenny B on tha twos and that promoted mumbly muthaflicker K Raikk on tha threes. Nuff respec’.

Join us again next Sunday when we’ll have another comprehensive highlights programme from the Hungarian Grand Prix, starting at 5:30pm on BBC Two.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on Badass Bitchin’ Corporation. Cuz there ain’t no reason fo’ pre-race coverage to start on a muthaflippin’ Tuesday.

So las’ weekend we slide on over Silverstone side fo’ that British Gee to tha Pee. Though when I sayin’ ‘slide’, I be meanin’ ‘swim’. Yea, tha D-ster be makin’ a weather funny. Man, it be wetter out there than a coach load of ladies when Tha D stride by in tha tighty whitey jeans. Ringside view of ma genitizzles.

That bitch ass precipitation be so bad it be messin’ wit’ tha three stage drive to survive and they be red flaggin’ that muthaflicker. ‘Ventually they get they shit together and it be ma boy Nando on tha ones wit’ ma brother M Web on tha two slot and that ol’ muddyfunster Mickey Schu haulin’ it in on tha three strike. Things ain’t so gravy fo’ ma homie Jenny B though cuz that strugglin’ brother slam it home on the 18s. Ongoing set-up and tyre-related struggizzles.

Come tha red an’ deads it be Nando takin’ tha lead but there be some bad ass fights goin’ on behind he. Then who this crazy mother be takin’ tha pointy end? It’s ma buddy Tha Ham and he be drivin’ like a bad ass. Thing is, that shit can’t last and Nando be all up in he’s grill and shit. Tha Ham, he jus’ ain’t gonna make it stick. Eventual tyre degradizzle.

So y’all be thinkin’ Nando got it made. All tha action be happnin’ behind he, like when that messed up muthaflumper P Maldiddy go get into a smackdown wit’ tha Mexico muthaflicker Sergie P, but then what this be goin’ down at tha front? It be tha Down Under muthafunker M Web and he be takin’ Nando down to Chinatown. A classy driving demonstrizzle.

Come tha three step spray and talk to Jack-ay, it be M Web on tha ones, Nando on tha twos and ma homie Sebby V on tha three slot. Not bad for a number two drivizzle.

Formula 1 now moves on to Germany and you’ll be able to see full highlights of that race on Sunday 22 July starting at 5:30pm on BBC Two and the BBC HD channel.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on the Bizzle Bizzle to tha Cizzle. So las’ weekend we slide on over Español side fo’ tha Euro Gee to tha Pee. Yea, that be some strong ass muthaflumpin’ sunshine down there. Lucky Crazy D packed tha tighty whitey jeans fo’ tha trip. They lookin’ fine in the sunshine. Slightly sweaty testiclizzles.

So when it come to tha Big Q, who this be slammin’ it on tha ones but ma buddy Sebby V. Yea, that cat got he’s pace back fo’ sho’. But he can’t take it slow cuz he got ma homie Tha Ham on tha twos and right behind on tha three slot it’s that Venezuelan muthafunker P. Maldiddy. Occasional flashes of brilliancizzle.

Ting is, come tha five an’ out, things be getting’ all mixed up fo’ shiggedy. Normally, tha Valencia race, it be long an’ pointless an’ boring. It be jus’ like one of Eddie Jordan’s stories. Yea, Tha D Man made a funny. But this year, tha shit get real and this hot damn race be so excitin’ Crazy D almost soil he’s tighty whiteys. Not quite. Tha D leave that to Timo Glock. Uncomfortable infection of the intestinizzle.

So we got cats all slammin’ it up and there be some shit on tha track which bring out tha safety Benz. All tha homies, they be divin’ into tha pits and ma boy Tha Ham, he be losin’ time cuz tha Mac Daddies, they havin’ a problem wit’ they jack. Another pit stop disgracizzle.

Suddenly, who this be slidin’ through tha pack but ma homie Nando. That be some home crowd inspirationizzle. That boy be on tha ones befo’ y’all know it and he be takin’ it home. Tings ain’t so gravy for ma brother Tha Ham and that erratic muthafibber P. Mal cuz they be swappin’ sponsors, and that shit ain’t good.

Come tha tablecloth it be Nando takin’ it fo’ Spain wit’ ma boy K Raikk on tha twos. But wait, who be this old man on tha three slot. It that multiple world championshizzle muthaflipper Mickey Schu. Man, that podium be rockin’ like it be 2005.

Join us in two week’s time when we’ll be live from Silverstone for the all-important British Grand Prix, starting at 12:10pm on Sunday 8 July.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ on wit’ a full package… of highlights. So las’ weekend we slide on over Canadia side fo’ tha Canadian Gee to tha Pee an’ ma main homie Jakey H, he be lookin’ kinda weird. He be like smaller an’ he grow he hair and he be makin’ wit’ tha Scottish accent. But hey, ain’t nothin’ wrong with that las’ ting. Yea, pleasant on tha earizzles.

So Tha Humph growin’ boobies ain’t tha only ting that be weird cuz who this be slammin’ it on tha one slot in tha three stage drive ta survive? It’s ma old buddy Sebby V. Yea, that pointy finger cat be back an’ he be meanin’ business. Only ting he gotta worry about is ma main man Da Ham cuz that homie be findin’ he form too. Sweet like a sale at a tighty whitey jeans store. Welcome returns to formizzle.

So come tha Sunday red five an’ out, it be lookin’ like Tha V Man be drivin’ away ’11-style. But this race, it be all about tha rubber, know wha’am sayin’? Sebby V and Nando, they lookin’ strong and my buddy LewHa, well he be sufferin’ cuz them cats at M C Laren, they couldn’t do a good stop this season if they’s lives depended on it. Faster to take it to Kwik Fitizzle.

Ting is, it don’ matter cuz Tha Ham be on tha right strategy and those other homies, they be getting’ degredashizzle all in they faces. An’ who this be takin’ advantage of they problems but ma homie RoGro and ma hombre Tha Prez. Nuff respec’ to tha relative newcomizzles.

Come tha three step pop an’ prance, it be Tha Ham on tha ones wit’ those newbie motherfluckers on tha twos an’ threes. Tha V and Nando, they be almost as sad as ma buddy Jenny B who struggle on tha 16 slot. Another weekend of disappointizzle.

And don’t forget that the BBC will have full, live coverage of the European Grand Prix from Valencia on Sunday 24 June starting at 12:10pm on BBC One, on the red button and online.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha from the Monaco Gee to tha Pee. Conveniently close to ma apartment. Yea. Desirable postcodizzle.

So Thursday we slide on over Monte Carlo side but then Friday there ain’t no track action cuz F1 be gettin’ busy wit’ tha partay. Crazy D, sippin’ down Cristal. Difficult to get through BBC expensizzles.

Come tha three stage sprint ‘n’ pit who this be slammin’ it on tha ones but ma old homie Mickey Schu. Where that cat get so fast from again, huh? Thing is, tha Mickster, he be carryin’ a penalty from tha las’ race where he be had a senior moment and that be droppin’ him to tha six leaving ma brother M. Web parkin’ it on tha primo spot. Psychologically importantizzle.

Come tha five an’ bye, tha Webmaster be away faster than Crazy D when he hear about a tighty whitey jeans sale. Tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma old buddy Mickey Schu though cuz that brother be bangin’ and a bitchin’ and eventually he retire. Like he should o’ done befo’ tha start of this season! Yea, Crazy D made a funny. It also jus’ ain’t workin’ out fo’ ma boy P. Maldiddy neither. Fo’ erratic performancizzle.

Up tha pointy end, it be lookin’ sweet fo’ ma buddy Nicky Ro cuz that boyband bitch be holdin’ it on tha twos and who this be on he’s tail but ma brethren Nando. Man that dude be extractin’ performance from tha ‘Rarri. In your face, ongoing technical issues that need to be resolvizzled.

Come tha three step pop ‘n’ prince, it be Webbo on tha ones wit’ NiRo and Nando on tha twos an’ threes. Nuff respec’ to ma homie P. diddy Resta who be bringin’ it home on tha seven slot. The power of porridgizzle.

And remember, we won’t be broadcasting live from the Canadian Grand Prix on Sunday 10 June but we will have a comprehensive highlights programme starting at 10:30pm only on BBC One and the BBC HD channel.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha live on tha Bee Bee and tha muddyflickin’ Cee. So las’ weekend we be gansta trippin’ Espanol side fo’ that Spanish Gee Pee and man, you jus’ don’t know where the shit gonna land this season. Fo’ no clear front runnizzles. Yea.

So come tha x3 sprint, who this be slammin’ it but ma homie P Maldo. That kid be gettin’ some good results when he be on tha soft. Not something that Crazy D be familiar wit’, know wha’am sayin’? Ain’t no one gonna be stoppin’ him ‘cept ma buddy Da Ham who go stick on tha ones and then park it like it’s hot. Fo’ inadequate fuel strategizzle.

But tha race control, they ain’t down wit’ that shit and Da Ham, he be startin’ from tha back. That puts tha boy P Mal on tha ones and that be some good shit fo’ ma big daddy F Willy. Come tha five an’ out things ain’t so gravy cuz ma boy Nando be stickin’ it through and tha P Man be down to tha twos. Things be even worse fo’ ma homie Jenny B cuz he be spendin’ tha race chattin’ ‘bout tha understeer and oversteer. Fo’ unsatisfactorily balanced chassizzle.

Ma brother Da Ham be doin’ better though cuz he cut into tha field like tha seam on Crazy D’s tighty whitey jeans cut into he’s testiclizzles. Respec’. Now Frankie W’s boys, they be takin’ a chance on stoppin’ early and hot diggety damn, P Maldiddy be holdin’ it on tha ones. Come tha three step smile ‘n’ spurt that cat be on tha ones. Hot damn. Fo’ way to celebrate Frankie’s 70^th birthdizzle.

Obviously events were rather overshadowed by the subsequent fire in the Williams garage and my thoughts are with those who were injured as they showed great professionalism and bravery bringing the incident under control.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on tha Bee to tha Bee to tha Cee with a bulging package. Of highlights. Oh yea. So las’ weekend we slide on over Bahrain side and man, it be hot. That be the white heat of no democrasizzle. Fo’ sho’. But hey, nuff o’ that shit. If Crazy D was gonna do politics, he be on Question Time. And that ain’t gonna happen cuz the whole audience jus’ be askin’ ‘Damn, why you look so good in dem tighty jeans?’ Fo’ almost see ma genitizzles.

So, on Sat’day in tha three stage drive ta survive, who be runnin’ it on tha one slot but my old buddy Sebby V. Man, an’ we thought we ain’t gonna see that cat again this season. An’ come tha Sunday five an’ out, that fingering muthaflumper be all up on that shit. Tings ain’t so sweet for ma McHomies Jenny B and Tha Ham. They be having some bad shit go down wit’ their rubber. It jus’ wear too fast. Yea, when Crazy D be wit’ a lady, he know that can be a problem too, know wha’am sayin’? Fo’ problems with tha balance of tha chassizzle.

So it ain’t goin’ on fo’ tha MC Larens, but who be these homies bustin’ they moves at tha pointy end? No shit, it be ma brother K Raikk and that l’il Swiss bitch RoGro. Hot damn! Tha Raikmeister be all up on Sebby V’s shit and that holey cheese cuckoo clock muthaflicker Gro Bro be slammin’ past tha others like Crazy D in a tighty jeans clearance sale. Fo’ impressive pacezzle.

Come tha steps ‘n’ spray, it be Tha V Man on tha ones wit’ Raikko and Le Gro on tha twos an’ threes. That be some mighty fine shit fo’ tha Lotus homies. Fo’ confusing sponsorship situatizzle.

And don’t forget that on 13 May we’ll be bringing you live coverage of the Spanish Grand Prix starting at 12:10pm, only on BBC One and BBC One HD.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha several hours after tha race and showin’ off his enormous package. Of highlights. Fo’ edittedizzle.

So, las’ weekend we slide on over Malay side fo’ tha Malaysian Gee to tha Pee and man, it be hot. It be the kinda conditions when Tha D be thankful fo’ tha awesome cooling power of tha tighty whitey jeans. Fo’ schweatytesticizzles.

So, in tha three stage fly by, ma boy Tha Ham be killin’ it on tha one slot wit’ ma homie J Bu slammin’ it on tha twos. That pretty-ass MC Laren be flyin’ out there. Tings ain’t so sweet fo’ ‘Rarri cuz that pullroddy piece o’ poo jus’ ain’t runnin’ right. Specially not wit’ tha no-mojo muthafunker Filly M at tha wheel.

See, we all be sayin’ that tha Prancin’ Ho’ be losin’ it, but come tha five red and dead, things ain’t be over till they be over. Man, suddenly it be wetter than a table o’ supermodels when they see Tha D bendin’ over in these jeans. Fo’ skintightizzle.

Ma race control bro Chaz ‘Ting, he be all like, this ain’t happnin’ and he stop tha race. But when that shit start up again who be that cat on tha ones? It be ma man Nando, and he be holdin’ on to that shit. But who this be all up on Tha Nando’s shit an’ ting? It be ma homie ‘Gio Prez an’ that little Mexican muthaflicker be drivin’ like a bad ass.

Come tha three step squirt ‘n’ smile, it be Nando on tha ones, Prezman on tha two and ma buddy Tha Ham on tha three slot. Fo’ grumpizzidy.

And do remember t that from the 13th to the 15th of April, the BBC will be broadcasting live from the Chinese Grand Prix with up to the minute coverage across the entire race weekend on BBC1 and BBC1 HD.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on yo TV, ‘bout six hours after tha actual race be finished. Fo’ cost effectividdy.

So this weekend we slide on over upside down side fo’ tha Australiaiaiaian G-to-tha-Pee and this be like tha first day back at school. ‘Cept tha D’s uniform these days be tha nice blue shirt and tha muthaflippin’ tighty whitey jeans. Fo’ ball huggizzle.

So come tha three stage ‘cation to tha nation, ma buddy Tha Ham be sticking it on tha one slot wit’ ma homie Jenny B wingmannin’ on tha twos. Man, those Macs be fast. It jus’ go to prove that old mo’spo’ sayin’, “If somethin’ look good, it prolly be muthafunkin’ fast and shit”. Yea.

Nuff respec’ fo’ ma amie Ro Gros who be slammin’ it on tha three slot. C’est muthafackin’ bon. Tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma man Sebby V and ma local bro-cal, Webbo. Ain’t no lock out of tha front row fo’ the cats cuz they be hangin’ in tha row three, and ain’t cool fo’ ma brothers Nando an’ Filly M cuz they be so far back they can’t see tha Macs wit’out muthastumpin’ binoculars.

Come tha five an’ out, Jenny B, that cat be takin’ it and he be away on tha ones. Tha Ham, he ain’t havin’ such a good time, but Sebby V, he be all up on that shit and ting. Ro Gros drop it on tha two lap and ma homie Pasto Maldo, he be lookin’ sweet until tha las’ muthafrippin’ lap and then tha brother be kissin’ concrete. Fo’ unluckizzle.

Come tha three step spray ‘n’ wave, Jenny B be king o’ tha muthafunkin’ castle wit’ Tha V on tha twos and Da Ham, that cat don’ be happy cuz he only on tha threes. But it only be tha first race so don’ give it tha boo hoos bro. Fo’ psychologically fragizzle.

And don’t forget that there’s no need to get up early for the 2012 Petronas Malaysian Grand Prix next Sunday when you can enjoy a lovely lie in and then tune in to BBC1 and BBC1 HD at 2:45pm for a convenient and comprehensive highlights programme.

Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha fo’ tha new Formula 1 season, live on tha BBC. But only sometimes. Yea, we ain’t gonna bring it fo’ all tha races cuz budgets, they be like my white jeans – tight. Fo’ shizzidy. So befo’ we get started in Australiaiaiaia, here be Crazy D’s guide to tha shit that be goin’ on an’ shit. Yea.

Red Bull
These be tha cats to beat in tha big oh twelve season. They got ma bro Sebby V, and man that boy be good. Too good fo’ he’s team mate, my homie M Web. But that don’ matter cuz that cat only wanna be on tha podium so he get tha free orange juice. Yea. Course, these brothers ain’t nuthin’ without a sweet set of wheels, which is why they be hangin’ wit’ ma favourite muthaflickin’ Poindexter, Neweytron 5000. That damn geek, he come up wit’ a new car that be runnin’ tha stippy step nose an’ shit. Man, that be ugly. It also got some slot in tha nose that Nerdytron say be fo’ driver coolin’. That be bullshit. It look like it fo’ making muthashuppin’ toast. It look like shit but it gonna be quick. Fo’ champizzles.

McLaren
Hot damn, tha Mac be back and they be ‘bout tha only team that ain’t running with tha stippy step on that front. They be rollin’ the sweetest sweet ass ride on tha grid. Sweet. And they got two of tha fastest cats in tha ‘hood too. Ma homie Jenny B run it smooth and low las’ season, and it be good to see he concentratin’ more on drivin’ than on shavin’. It worked for Crazy D too. Kinda. J Bu’s wingman is ma buddy Tha Ham. Now he be one fast cat, but that muthafunker, he gotta get he’s head togetha. Snatch befo’ set-up ain’t cool bro. Fo’ scherzizzle.

Ferrari
These homies have had a whole off-season to think of excuses fo’ why they ain’t doin’ good, and in they spare time they also designed a car. From muthafunkin’ Lego! Let’s be hopin’ these brothers spend mo’ time racin’ and less time complainin’ this season cuz they got tha tools to get tha job done. They got ma main man Nando, an’ he’s job is to win races. Plus, they got ma boy Filly M, an’ he’s job is to crash into Tha Ham an’ make sure another driver don’ get tha second seat at Ferrari. Fo’ inadequatizzle.

Mercedes
Mercedes got a lotta things goin’ fo’ them, but mos’ of all they got tha guvnor, Rossy B. Now this be a cat that don’ like a shave. No sir. An’ Crazy D admire that, cuz tha D been there heself. It kinda liberating, and it give Ro Bra the extra time he save not shavin’ to spend mo’ time desiginin’. Boom! If he make a kick ass car, that gonna be good news for ma homie NiRo. Man, that kid’s drivin’ be almost as nice as he’s hair. Also, bein’ lowered gently into tha Mercedes, be ma brother Mickey Schu. Now tha’s a cat that jus’ won’ quit. Seven world muthafartin’ championships and he still tryin’. That be insane in tha brain. He shoulda followed tha Crazy D plan – no world championships, can’t get a seat, retire. Fo’ embarrassizzle.

Lotus
Man, there be too many Lotuses in tha F1 las’ year. But every ting gonna be alright, cuz now they jus’ be one, and it these cats what used to be Renault or some shit. Yea. They got tha stippy step nose and all tha chops, but tha main thang they got tha’s new is ma solid homie K Raik. Yea, that monosyllabic muthafunker be back! That be good news fo’ tha F1 cuz that homie can drive, and man, he don’ give a shit unless he be takin’ one. Know wha’am sayin’? Along wit’ Tha Raikkomaster, new Only Lotus be havin’ ma buddy RoGro. That be two comebacks in one team. Who they hirin’ next? Muthalumpin’ Elvis? Fo’ comebackspecizzle.

Force India
Crazy D love tha cool cats at Fo’ Cindia. Me especially love ma main man VJ Mal. He be tha dude, and boy he like two things. Cigars, and eatin’. I once saw he put sauce on a chair and then eat it. Fo’ sho. The other thing he like be F1 racin’ and that be fortunate cuz he own a muthaflickin’ team! Well, some of it. This year Crazy D be delighted to report, they be keepin’ ma so solid homie, P Diddy Resta. Och aye tha muthafuckin’ noo bro. They also running ma buddy Tha Hulk and he be good too. He jus’ need to be a bit mo’ Scotch. Fo’ bagpipperizzle.

Sauber
Kickin’ it old skool, P Saub by makin’ another sweet ass Swiss slaphead solo effort, wit’ tha engines from Fo’ Rari. Tha instruction manual be jus’ a list of excuses why it ain’t workin’ right. Fo’ joking! So fo’ tha big twenty twelve, Tha Saub be stickin’ wit’ ma homie Tha Bash. Man, that little Japanese cat, he love to overtake. And drive into shit. Bam! He sure got spirit. And sometimes, he steer like he been drinkin’ it. ‘Longside K-to-tha-K, they got ma hombre S P’rez. That dude be puttin’ in some solid performances. Fo’ dependabilitizzle.

Toro Rosso
These cats can fly but they ain’t always so hot. This year, they got tha stippy step, they got tha engine from Fezrizzle, but man I hope they ain’t hopin’ to keep they muthaflippin’ no claims bonus cuz they runnin’ wit’ two homies who ain’t got tha experience. An’ in F1, it all about tha experience, on and off tha track. Yea, tha ladeez know wha’am sayin’. Smooooth. So they got ma buddy D Ricci, and that kid jus’ gotta keep on keepin’ on. Then they got ma bro Jean E V, and he be pullin’ some sweet moves in tha F-to-tha-3, but he gotta make that stick now he rollin’ wit’ tha big boys. Fo’ inexperiencizzle.

Williams
Man, I love these homies like a brother from another mother, but they gotta get they shee-it together. And things ain’t lookin’ good when they lost F Willy and Tha Head from tha frontline, they disrespec’ ma brother Ru B and now they got Cough Xerox in charge. Oh maaaan. Still, they got ma boy Pasto Maldo. That cat gonna work hard. An’ they be runnin’ wit’ ma homie B Senn. He be cool, but if Crazy D had a dollar fo’ every time he be gonna compared to he uncle, man, Tha D be able to open another chain of hotels. Fo’ predictabizzle.

Caterham
What be goin’ on here? Did they build tha team from a box o’ parts in they garage? Ha! Crazy D make a funny. These cats was one of tha Lotuses but now they be not. They got ma homie M Gas runnin’ tha show, and he be a bad ass muthafunker, plus they got ma man Hei K on tha car, and he be a solid brother to have on yo side. One thang Tha D don’ understand is why that dude got tha Angry Birds on he helmet. What he gonna do? Fire he’s head at a muthaflunkin’ pig? In tha other car they got ma comrade Vitty P and he bring two things, talent and dollar. But a lot mo’ of one than tha other. Fo’ paydrivizzle.

HRT
Things ain’t goin’ so well fo’ these homies in tha off season, but they’s gonna show up anyway. They got ma man ‘Rain Kart in tha hot seat, at least until he find some other brother sittin’ in he’s chair again. Know wha’am sayin’? Then they be hirin’ ma bro P Delly Rosa. Yea, he back. Shows that jus’ cuz a driver be over 40, it don’t mean he can’t be in tha race. So don’ go losin’ Crazy D’s number y’all. Tha PDLR, he gonna be jus’ fine. Fo’ llinarivizzle.

Marussia
These cats used to be a Virgin and now some Russians make sure they ain’t. Trust me, that’s the kind of shit that can give yo hotel a bad name. So, they be havin’ some bad shit go down befo’ tha season start but they got ma Fozzie Bear voiced muthafunker P Symmy on speed dial and ma homie T Glozzle in tha car. They jus’ gotta watch out fo’ ma amie Chuck P in tha second car. That dude gonna have to learn fast. Fo’ backmarkizzle.