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Hot diggety damn. There have been literally several responses to Sniff Petrol's undignified Geneva Motor Show begging, most of which have been frankly useless. Here are some of the highlights. These are all genuine e-mails, by the way. Scared? You should be.
"We are zo most pleased to herewith have the unique oppurteunity of infiting
yo to our bar at the Gen�ve Saloon of ze Automobile for a drink or tweu or three or more if you so wuld desire and us too.
You will ave neu truble vinding our bar, it is greatly marked "Zeppelin"
where yeu wil be able to privately seat in our latest models mud excavateurs
and an airship or tweu or just the air."
Le Patron P.D.G. Froanc�n

"I'll pledge a fluffy Jelly Bean and twenty three pence towards the Sniff Petrol Geneva trip."
Da Bean, Junket Follower and Blagger Extraordinaire.

"We would love to invite you to the Geneva Motor Show, but we aren't going to be there this year (as they aren't providing any of that holey cheese at the breakfast buffet in the hotel we were going to stay in), so how about coming to the Frankfurt Motor Show - the beer is a whole lot better here in Germany! (And we can import some of that holey cheese!)"
Reinhard Schratzchundschniff, Managing Redirector, Porschaudi-BenzWagen GmbH
Yes, yes, yes. All very nice, but not actually going to get Sniff Petrol much beyond the long stay parking at Heathrow.

Of marginally more use is the offer of a
free MG-Rover coolbag from Nigel Wells at Exeter & Epsom Motor Group. We'll think about that one.

However, current winner is
Mr Scott Brownlee at Toyota who, via the medium of song lyrics, offered the following embarrassment of riches:

"a heated kidney shaped pool, a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook, a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home, a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum, a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi, real simulated Indian jewelry, a Gucci shoetree, a year's supply of antibiotics, a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number, a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick, Rosemary's baby, a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams, a new Matador, a new mastodon, a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego, a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor, a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu, a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mack truck, a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped,
a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away, or how about a McCulloch chainsaw, a Las Vegas wedding, a Mexican divorce, a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot, or a baby's arm holding an apple?"

How could Sniff Petrol refuse?