Sniff Petrol issue 20

I'm delighted to be given this opportunity to edit Sniff Petrol this week. One of the questions I'm almost sometimes asked as a motoring journalist is "What do you drive?" I can exclusively reveal the answer to that question right here on Sniff Petrol: I drive a Kia Magentis. The first time I saw this superb executive saloon I remember immediately thinking that I wanted to be lent one for a year and finally I was lucky enough for that to come true. As soon as you see the Magentis you know that this is a special kind of car. Its smooth styling offers superbly attractive looks to rival the best German luxury cars, yet without being as flashy as some cars I could mention. Luxury is very much the order of the day inside too, with an attractive dashboard and superb leather seats. All the controls are clearly laid out and fall easily to hand. Turn the key and you could be forgiven for thinking you'd stalled. Don't worry, the superb 166bhp 2.5-litre V6 engine really is that quiet! This superb motor really is as smooth as a sewing machine, yet it's superbly sporty too thanks to the superb H-matic automatic multi-mode automatic gearbox automatic. Out on the open road the Magentis really is superb, smothering bumps and cornering like it's on rails. This is a superbly civilised way to travel. And with prices starting at just �12,995 on the road it really is superb value as well. That's why I chose to be given a superb Kia Magentis. I hope that answers your question. Enjoy this week's superb Sniff Magentis.

The Kia Magentis has been voted the best car in the world, according to a poll organised by motoring journalist Roy Lanchester. The exclusive poll, conducted in Roy Lanchester's house, revealed that the new 2.5-litre V6-powered Korean luxury saloon was far superior to a host of other cars from respected names such as BMW, Mercedes and other manufacturers that Roy has trouble borrowing cars off since he lost his job on a national newspaper some nine years ago. 'With its superb sewing machine-smooth engine the Magentis pulls like a train and corners like it's on rails,' the venerable car scribe noted. 'And with prices starting at �12,995 on the road, it's superb value too.' However, since Lanchester's wife left him in 1994 and his only son has moved in with 'that bird in Leeds' critics have noted that the poll was completely meaningless and shit.

Unlicensed minicabbing is still illegal in Harrogate, despite the enterprising efforts of one local man. Local authorities in the Yorkshire town maintain that to operate a minicab the driver must possess a private hire license and that driving a luxurious Far Eastern motor car is not grounds enough to operate as a prestige hire company. However, one unnamed Harrogate resident is fighting a one man war against this ruling, and is risking losing his car and his driving license as a result. The anonymous town resident, believed to be supplementing his income with his night time minicab activities, has already been in trouble with local police on two occasions but has vowed to continue with his stated quest to 'provide the people of Harrogate with a better standard of minicab with standard alloy wheels, chrome door handles, a sewing machine-smooth 2.5-litre V6 engine and sporty H-matic automatic transmission.' Clearly the narrow minded local authorities don't agree and have even threatened to tell the Kia Cars (UK) precisely what one 'money grabbing journalist' is doing with their long term test car.

Everyone knows the Americans and the English are two nations divided by a common language. They say 'sidewalk', we say 'pavement'. They say 'trunk', we say 'boot'. They say 'Hootie and the Blowfish rock man', we say 'What a load of shit'. Now those crazy Yanks are at it again with a zany new word for something very familiar to British drivers because where we say Magentis, they say 'Optima'! That's right, the madcap Americans even have their own special word for Kia's superb top-of-the-range sewing machine-smooth V6-powered executive saloon. But that's not all. Across the Atlantic the Magentis's sporty H-matic automatic transmission is called 'Sportmatic'! Fortunately our Stateside cousins still get to enjoy a superb interior with all the major controls falling easily to hand and a dynamic chassis that means the Magentis, or Optima, corners like it's on rails. And with prices starting just $14,899 it's superb value too. So at least we have something in common!

'The Kia Magentis is a saloon executive car sitting alongside plenty of other competitive models all clamouring for your attention', according to some writing on the company's website. 'But a closer look shows there's actually no competition,' the site continues. 'Because the Magentis gives you all the space, comfort and luxury you would expect from a car at this level - at a fraction of the price. In fact the depreciation on many of the others could buy you a Magentis. With Magentis you also get elegant European styling, an ultra-smooth drive thanks to the powerful 2.5 V6 engine plus sporty H-matic automatic transmission. So unless you're in the habit of throwing money at expensively advertised badges, the expression 'no-brainer' springs to mind...'