The worst issue ever, this month
Elton John once posited that "sorry" seems to be the hardest word. Plainly that's rubbish. There are loads of harder words. Onomatopoeia for example. Nonetheless, Sniff Petrol is sorry that this issue is not only late but also rather on the thin side. In fact, there's almost no writing in it, just a load of pictures. Perfect for the less-literate internet reader who can simply steal them to post on some kind of discussion forum or paste them into a group e-mail along with that tedious spoof Porsche Cayenne advert which has been doing the rounds for months now and which, for the last time, is nothing to do with Sniff Petrol. Ideally, this e-mail will then end up in the hands of a hack at the Daily Star who can assemble the JPEGs within it into a story which tries to claim that "internet pranksters" are annoying car company bosses who don't like to be the butt of jokes. Oh, okay then. Yes, Sniff Petrol is a bit grumpy this month. Onomatopoeia.
� 2005. Sniff Petrol every month. Next issue 6 May (honest)
Cobbled together by Sniff Petrol. With thanks to Stephen Grant and Poo