There was anger at BMW this week after several of the press cars used by British journalists on the new M3 launch were found to be pregnant. Munich bosses were said to be furious after three examples of the new sports coupe, described by one UK writer as ‘Uhh uhhh, oh that’s it baby’, are now up the duff and will have to be withdrawn from driving duties and heavy lifting for the next nine months. ‘This is exactly the situation we were trying to avoid,’ said one BMW insider. ‘We made modifications to the cars, aside from the racing pads we secretly fitted because we still won’t admit our M-series brakes are crap, including bromide steering wheels, latex engine covers and sat-nav systems programmed to recite details of the Arsenal offside trap’.
Observers on the overseas launch of the car described by another British hack as ‘Oh God, that’s so good, yes, yes, YES!’ say members of the UK media did appear to be ‘quite sleepy’ after their drive in the test cars and that at least one of them was ‘looking slightly flushed and smoking a cigarette’.
‘The British journalists have taken it too far this time,’ said one senior Bee-Em insider. ‘Why did they have to get our lovely M cars into trouble? Usually they are just happy to furiously wank over them’.
