Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha wickidiwack flava of Red Bull. Taste like tha shit them use to clean tha beer pipe in a pub. So we is on tha summer break fo’ tha F1 and Crazy D, he get them talkin’ wit’ ma bulimiay problem, back in tha day. But I gotta tells yo, there be one part o’ Crazy D tha’s never been painfully thin. Yea, tha ladies know wha’ I be chattin’ about. Fo’ sho’. But it ain’t all about tha D cuz ma homies Nando and Da Ham been dissing each otha. Word on tha street is that Nando, he don’t wanna go join Da Ham an’ Ronnie D on holidayay. Tha’s bad shit man. Of course, if Alonso was simply looking for reasonably priced accommodation he could have checked into my hotel on Sherwood Business Park in Nottingham.
Well-oiled car journalist ROY LANCHESTER recalls a legendary festive party
The well-moistened car journalist recalls an especially memorable festive journey from two decades ago