There was bad news for smoky voiced mispronunciation target Sade this week as drivers discovered serious faults in her new range of branded sat-nav units.
Sade Nav was launched in the US just last month, promising people who liked Sade (in the ‘80s) the chance to navigate around with instructions delivered in the familiarly breathy and quite pleasant at a dinner party (in the ‘80s) voice of Sade herself. However, early users have reported several problems with the new units, problems which seem to stem from the piss poor geography of the woman behind them.
“For a long time I’d been looking for a navigation system that could issue instructions in a kind of smouldering, semi-jazz way,” said Maspy Squawburger, an early adopter of the system. “So when I heard about the new Sade Nav I was first in line. Immediately I got it I decided to celebrate like an idiot by driving from my home in California to see my parents in Detroit. Unfortunately, the Sade Nav doesn’t recognise Detroit. According to Sade, the United States goes ‘coast to coast, LA to Chicago’. In other words, in her mind there is no Eastern seaboard and my folks live under water. I think the dumb bitch must have mistaken Lake Michigan for the Atlantic Ocean”.
It wasn’t all bad news for fans of Sade Nav, however. Those who have used one of the new units describe the control operation as ‘smooth’.
