REASONS WHY HAMILTON IS MOVING TO SWITZERLAND

Really likes Toblerone

Keen interest in Nazi gold

Wishes local shop had wider selection of pen knives

Eager to borrow lawnmower off Michael Schumacher

Surprisingly into oompah music

Finds flag design pleasantly simple

Desperate to use GCSE in Romansh

Wishes wall clock had telescopic wooden bird in it

Dreams of bumping into Phil Collins

Considers Stevenage ‘too exciting’

Massive fan of Heidi

Hoping Ron will now call before he comes round