It was announced today that Transport for London is to challenge Porsche over its attempts to lower the Cayenne SUV by 24mm. The authority responsible for transport policy in the capital said it was ‘disproportionate’ for the German car maker to attempt such a radical ride height reduction for its new Cayenne GTS model and that it intended to seek a judicial review on the matter.
‘A massive suspension drop is quite simply ludicrous,’ said TfL spokesman Papeline Norks. ‘There is no need to have people driving around this city in a huge 4×4… that doesn’t have sufficient suspension travel to cope with the utterly terrible quality of our roads’.
TfL says if it does not receive a satisfactory response from Porsche it will go to the courts to seek an order forcing Porsche to raise its latest off road model. ‘This sudden, unfair lowering will affect families in particular,’ said Mr Norks. ‘Specifically, those buying a large 4×4 because they expect it to have a soft, comfortable ride’.
However, not everyone agrees with the opposition to Porsche’s lowering plans. ‘I think the Cayenne decrease is entirely correct,’ said Action Jackson of Dab-Of-Oppo magazine. ‘Camber change is the biggest threat currently facing the human race and something needs to be done to stop large SUVs wallowing and lurching’.
Sniff Petrol was going to ring London Mayor Ken Livingstone but he was probably too busy being a cat-voiced, money snatching cockbag.
