Oh dear God, he’s joined some sort of weird colour-matched pop combo.
![schumachereurovision.jpg](https://standfirst-sniffpetrol-production.imgix.net/content/uploads/schumachereurovision.jpg?fit=crop&crop=faces,entropy&q=75&auto=compress,format)
(Don’t worry, he hasn’t really formed a hideous Germanic version of Steps to mount a Ross Brawn engineered assault on Eurovision. This photo is actually from three years ago and shows him finishing a beach volleyball match in Australia. Hang on a minute, that’s just as SODDING WEIRD. And why are they wearing microphones? No one wants to hear Barrichello grunting like a sex pest.)
Thanks to Joey Daytona for the picture
![](https://standfirst-sniffpetrol-production.imgix.net/content/uploads/2022/01/04200053/NOTADBMWiX.jpg?fit=crop&crop=faces,entropy&q=75&auto=compress,format&w=933&h=517)