Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha great smell o’ Red Bull. Splash it on all over. An’ then get attacked by wasps. No way. So we slide on over Belgique side an’ Crazy D, he take it smooth an’ low. Yea. He stick it nice in qualifyay, tuck up on tha fo’teen slot cuz tha’s the way he roll. Medium pace. Then on tha Sundayay Crazy D he chilled like Crystal fo’ tha race. Yea. But when tha work be done, everyone they ain’t be chattin’ ‘bout how Crazy D keep it jus’ outside tha top ten again, they jus’ be sayin’ how ma man Da Ham be dissed by tha F-to-tha-I-to-tha-A ‘cuz they give he a penaltyay fo’ cuttin’ wit’ Tha Kimster. That be bad shit man. No one know why this crap be goin’ down. Perhaps it is because the governing body of F1 is a complete shower of useless wankers.
Well-oiled car journalist ROY LANCHESTER recalls a legendary festive party
The well-moistened car journalist recalls an especially memorable festive journey from two decades ago