There was exciting news for Ferrari fans this week as the Italian branded merchandise manufacturer announced a brand new lightweight version of its latest baseball cap.
The new headgear, called the Berretto Scuderia, is claimed to be a remarkable 2.1 grams lighter than the normal cap upon which it is based. This useful weight saving makes a major contribution to the Berretto Scuderia’s enhanced performance including a reported 1.4 second decrease in the time it takes other people to realise that anyone who wears one is clearly a total bellend.
Engineers at Ferrari’s state-of-the-art Fabrics & Appliqué Logos development centre in Maranello say that they have also made significant advances in systems integration, allowing the new cap to match-up seamlessly with a Prancing Horse branded polo shirt, drastically shortening the gap between the wearer entering a room and the first time someone says ‘Jesus, look at that total prick in several items of Ferrari clothing’.
No one outside of Ferrari has worn the Berretto Scuderia as yet but Sniff Petrol is looking forward to being invited to some sort of laughably self-important event at which we will be allowed to try on the cap for about 30 seconds before being treated to a display of ludicrously precious pomposity as if we were actually being invited to gaze momentarily at the Baby Jesus.