Motorsport

EXCLUSIVE – NEW FIA BOSS’S PLANS FOR F1

by
JeanToad
Jean Toad wearing his special FIA impartiality shirt and headphones, yesterday

Formula 1 is set to enter a new era as incoming president Jean Toad looks to revise the rulebook whilst remaining completely impartial, oh yes siree. Here are some of the F1 rule changes Mr Toad is said to be considering:

  • All cars taking part in Formula 1 must be red. Any car that is not red will be penalised 30 points for both driver and team.
  • It is illegal for any team that does not already have a red car as of the start of 2009 to paint its car red.
  • All teams must be based in Maranello. Teams will be free to choose NOT to be based on Maranello, but in return will be penalised 50 points.
  • It is illegal for any team not based in Maranello as of the start of 2009 to move to Maranello.
  • All teams must have at least three Rs in their team. Any team without three Rs in their name will be penalised 10 points per race. (NB Torro Rosso are penalised 20 points for inserting an illegal space between the Rs in their name). Also, all teams will be penalised 50 points per driver if they failed, as of the start of 1950, to have a horse as their logo.
  • In any dispute between two teams all FIA adjudication MUST find in favour of which ever team presents its case using someone that Mr Toad is friends with.