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Aston Martin announces box

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The Aston box, yesterday
The Aston box, yesterday

There was good news for people with more money than sense this week as Aston Martin announced a new cardboard box with the shape of their grille crudely cut into the front.

The box is designed for the company’s customers who want somewhere to store everyday items such books, CDs and old saucepans but don’t want to use their DBS, DB9 or V8 Vantage for such a task.

“We realise that a lot of our customers like to keep their Aston Martin sports car for special occasions,” said a company spokesman. “At the same time, clearly they need a place in which to throw items such as a stack of old magazines or that pile of unwanted sweaters they keep meaning to take to the charity shop. That’s the perfect reason why they will be interested in the Aston Martin cardboard box with the shape of our grille crudely cut into the front”.

The new box is actually based on a more prosaic item made by Packaging Systems of Nuneaton and typically available from the loading bay at a supermarket for a price of £0. However, thanks to a number of refinements such as the shape of their grille crudely cut into the front, the Aston Martin cardboard box will retail for between £10,000 and £25,000.

“We’re confident the Aston Martin box with the shape of our grille crudely cut into the front will be a hit with many of our customers,” their spokesman insists. “Just as long as they’re so catastrophically stupid that they insist on paying way over the odds for anything that’s got our name on it”.