There was a fresh crisis for BP today as the company suffered another massive leak, this time centred around its service station on the A361 near Cresston Vestibule in Devon.
Sources say the leak this time is not of oil, but of piss.
‘I can confirm that the leak is centred around the men’s lavatory area of the Cresston Vestibule services,’ said BP spokesman Carl Wash. ‘However, rest assured we have people looking into it… for as long as they can stand the smell’.
Some environmentalists, however, have already accused BP of doing too little, too late. ‘I have visited this site for myself and I can confirm there has been a massive lake of piss on the floor of the men’s bogs for ages now,’ said Tron Sandalls from action group Green Devon. ‘This environmental travesty affects us all, especially if we’re bursting for a slash and don’t want to get the hems of our trouser legs all wet’.
The Environment Agency has warned against trying to avoid the ever-growing piss lake by using the cubicle instead. ‘Several days ago somebody used that cubicle,’ stated a visibly shaken Agency diver. ‘I don’t know what they’d eaten, I don’t want to know, but the mess is simply unbelievable and it’s not going to flush away in a hurry’.
In light of this new disaster BP is currently advising people to stay away from the Cresston Vestibule men’s loo ‘unless you’re really bursting… and not wearing flip flops’.
Local police say other motorists would be better off continuing to the Esso station at Sheepley Monghat which has ‘a relatively dry floor and only one unsettling smear on the wall’
