George Monbiot to be switched off

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There was outcry from eco-campaigners today following news that George Monbiot is to be switched off.

The switch off is the result of an announcement by The Guardian that it is to stop funding Mr Monbiot as part of an overall cut in spending on self-righteousness.

‘We have decided to turn off George Monbiot later this year as part of our commitment to end the war on our readers,’ said a statement from the newspaper. ‘We will instead pursue more effects methods of dismal, hand wringing invective.’

The announcement was met with scepticism by some campaigners. ‘Switching off George Monbiot will be a disaster,’ said Jocasta Bean-Curd of left-wing action group SANDAL. ‘Without the safety of his weak, sanctimonious drivel in the paper how will I know what to become impotently annoyed about?’

The Guardian has sought to appease protesters with a promise that once Mr Monbiot is switched off all of his old opinions will be recycled. Again.