I’ll fight you all, roars deranged Head

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Patrick Head has surprised F1 observers during the normally quiet August recess by offering anything and anyone outside for a FIGHT.

‘Come on you BASTARDS,’ Head reportedly ROARED to no one in particular as he STAMPEDED through a supermarket car park near his Oxfordshire home.

‘Let’s have it then,’ the clearly ENRAGED Williams Engineering Director continued. ‘I’ll FUCKING have you!’

Onlookers say Head then RAMPAGED into a nearby park and PUNCHED a small tree until it fell over a bit.

The FURIOUS Williams lynchpin was subsequently spotted THUNDERING through a small pond GRABBING at ducks and BELLOWING ‘Head hungry! Hunnnnnngryyyyyy!’

A short while later, the GRUNTING team co-founder was spotted climbing up a five storey building, SWIPING at pigeons as he did so before being found ASLEEP in a SKIP with BITS OF SQUIRREL all over his face.

‘This is nothing to worry about,’ insisted a Williams spokesman. ‘Patrick was probably just a bit bored and peckish. As long as no zoo animals died this time I think we’re okay.’