There was shock across the world today after a High Court ruling finally allowed popular Top Gear racing driver The Stig to reveal his identity.
‘I was frankly shocked,’ said one Top Gear fan outside the court room. ‘I had no idea it was… sorry, what’s his name?’
Other fans of the BBC motoring show were equally aghast at the news. ‘I couldn’t believe it!’ wrote one contributor to a Top Gear discussion forum. ‘To think all this time it was a bloke whose name I’ve only just been told but now can’t remember!’
However, some Top Gear viewers were less easily confused. ‘I knew all along it was Lewis Collins,’ said one ardent Top Gear enthusiast. ‘He was quite good at driving in The Professionals and his drumming with Genesis was great. No, wait, who were we talking about again? Bootsy Collins?’
Meanwhile, other fans were less certain. ‘It’s Pauline Collins out of Shirley Valentine?’ wrote one confused fan on a BBC message board. ‘God, that race suit really covered up how small and Liverpudlian she is. And that she’s almost 70 years old. Fair play to her.’
Despite the confusion, the thoughts of all Top Gear viewers seemed to be summed up by one anonymous contributor to a news discussion group. ‘The revelation about this Joan Collins person is amazing,’ they wrote. ‘I look forward to being able to buy a book all about someone I have never heard of and in whom I have literally no interest whatsoever.’