‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello. Detective Inspector Mark Blundell done be reporting. On Sunday 26 September I done proceed in an Easterly direction to the Singapore Grand Prix, what done be in Singapore. On approaching the area I done observe several road traffic incidents. Firstly, I done observe a white Ferrari-powered vehicle driven by an IC5 male, one Mr Kamui Kobayashi, what done lose control on a tricky bend and done collide with what done be, in fairness, a wall. Mr Kobayashi’s vehicle then done be hit by a black HRT vehicle what done be driven by an IC2 male, Mr Bruno Senna, what done come around the same corner. Let this done be a lesson to all motorists about the dangers what done be, to be honest, around blind bends.
I also done observe a green Lotus vehicle driven by an IC1 male, Mr Heikki Kovalainen, what done catch on what be, in fairness, fire. Mr Kovalainen done exhibit some quick thinking by done avoiding an area what done be occupied by a significant quantity of persons and flammable materials and done bring his vehicle to what be, to be honest, a halt. He then done extinguish the flames himself. This done be a valuable lesson on what done be the importance of keeping a fire extinguisher close at what done be, in fairness, hand.
Finally, I done also observe a silver McLaren vehicle driven by an IC3 male, Mr Lewis Hamilton, what done collide with a blue Red Bull vehicle driven by an IC1 male, Mr Mark Webber, what done cause Mr Hamilton’s vehicle to be broken and done be no longer done able to proceed. Let this be a valuable lesson to all motorists of the importance of not getting carried away and, in fairness, fucking it up again. Over and out.