‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello. Detective Inspector Mark Blundell done be reporting. On Saturday 6 November I done proceed in a Southerly Americaly direction to Brazil, what done be in Brazil. Here I done observe a Mercedes B-class vehicle what done be occupied by an IC1 male, Mr Jenson Button, what done be approached by six men who done be armed and, in fairness, done appear to be intent on done doing a crime. Fortunately, the Mercedes vehicle done be able to proceed away from the area before any felony done occur. Let this be a lesson to all motorists to done ensure they have a trained high risk situation avoidance driver in the vehicle at all times.
On Sunday 7 November I done observe another silver Mercedes vehicle driven by an IC1 male, Mr Nico Rosberg, what done also be approached by four men what done have guns. Fortunately, in this instance these done be wheel guns and what done turn out to be, in fairness, the wrong tyres. Let this done be a lesson to all teams to not done make what done, to be honest, be a right old cock of a pit stop. Over and out.