VW DIESEL ENGINE ‘TOO TORQUEY’ SAY ENVIRONMENTALISTS
Environmental agencies have issued a warning to Volkswagen this week following news of an experimental diesel engine which is alleged to be ‘too torquey’. Some bloke from Greenpeace was just one of those adding blather to the whinge pile: “If reports are true, this new engine could have dire global implications.” he said, “We understand that this latest development has so much torque that any car it’s fitted to will remain static and the entire earth will be rotated underneath it. That could be disastrous, especially if two cars so equipped want to drive in different directions or something.”
A VW person was quick to rebuff these claims: “It is true that we have a development of our new V10 twin-turbo PD TDi but this is purely experimental. Frankly we can’t shift out of first yet without knackering the gearbox. Mind you, we might just leave it in sixth and let the torque do the work.” If the engine were to enter production it’s sure to be popular with economy fiends, offering a potential 593mpg on the combined cycle.
“Bugger” said a spokesman for OPEC.
