“REDESIGN IT, BITCH!” SHOUTS TOOLED UP LUTZ
Bob Lutz, the man charged with turning around GM’s fortunes in North America, is employing some interesting new tactics in order to ensure that forthcoming models are more desirable. Sources say the gnarly war veteran has decided that actions speak louder than words, and that carrying a large handgun speaks loudest of all. Employees first became aware that the 107-year-old ‘car guy’ was packing a piece when he was on a tour of the company’s Orion Assembly Plant in Michigan. “Bob had been assured that end-of-line rectification was at an all time low,” reported one observer. “Clearly the figures weren’t good enough. Before we knew it he pulled out a revolver and started pistol-whipping our quality audit guys. I guess he was pretty pissed.”
However, more was to come on a visit to GM’s vast design studio complex in Warren, Michigan. Onlookers say Lutz noticed the signed off lower facia roll design for a forthcoming Chevrolet model and became immediately enraged at its unattractive shape and weak shutline resolution. When told that altering the plastic trim panel would add to the project cost Lutz is said to have pulled out his trusty shooter and aimed it at a senior designer’s head yelling “Redesign the goddam moulding motherfucker! Go on, redesign it, bitch!”
“Bob’s getting serious,” confided one GM insider. “Last I saw him he was heading home to get his L39 jet fighter. Oh god! Call the cops! He’s strafing the purchasing offices….”
