Crazy Dave

Crazy D buys some new trousers

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha from tha commentary box, spittin’ some phat analytical flavas wit’ ma buddy Marty B. Fo’ shizz.

So this weekend we be flyin’ away fo’ tha Singapore Gee to tha Pee and that mean tha D Man, he gonna need some new muthafunkin’ trousers fo’ tha extreme conditions. It gonna be hot, it gonna be sticky, and I ain’t be talkin’ ‘bout tha ladeez when Crazy D walk in tha room. Know wha’am sayin’? Fo’ shizziddy.

Also, tha Singapore smackdown, it be at night and that mean visibility be an issue. A brother gotta make sure his trews ain’t gonna disappear after the muthaflippin’ sun be goin’ down. Y’all get me? What tha D be sayin’ here is, this ain’t no case of runnin’ into Marks & ma main man Spencer an’ jus’ grabbin’ tha first pair of strides y’all find. This gonna need some bad ass searchin’ and some muthafartin’ tryin’ on. Fo’ shizzibidibidi.

Tha’s why this week, Tha D, he be all over that shee-it and he be getting’ his mo’foin’ ass down to tha Westfield shopping centre. Yea. He be all over that shit like a muthafrappin’ Scotch rash, pullin’ those trousers off they rack and takin’ them to tha changin’ rooms to get up close and muthafrackin’ personal. Fo’ shizziggetywizz.

Firs’ pair, they be too loose. Secon’ pair, they be tha wrong colour. But the third pair, shazzam! That be a muthafrizzle sartorial slam dunk right there.

They tight. They white. They jus’ right. Fo’ shizzibazigettywizzle.

And don’t forget to tune in to Sunday’s race, from 1pm only on the BBC.