Columns D.I. Blundell

D.I. Blundell done report from Singapore 2011

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‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello. Detective Inspector Mark Blundell done be reporting. On Sunday 25 September I done proceed in an easterly direction to the Singapore Grand Prix, what done be in Singapore. Driving conditions in this event done be unusual because it done be at night what is, in fairness, dark.

Here I done observe a silver Mercedes vehicle driven by an IC1 male, one Mr Michael Schumacher of Germany, who done misjudge the speed of a white Sauber vehicle driven by an IC2 male, one Mr Sergio Perez of Mexico. This done then cause Mr Schumacher’s Mercedes to done have what were, to be honest, a crash. This done be an important lesson about taking care to done correctly judge distances at night, especially if you done be an elderly motorist.

Earlier in the evening I done also observe a similar incident involving a silver McLaren vehicle driven by an IC3 male, one Mr Lewis Hamilton of Great Britain, what done make contact with a red Ferrari vehicle driven by an IC2 male, one Mr Felipe Massa of increasingly limited ability. For Mr Hamilton this done be an important lesson in remembering that you done be an extremely talented racer and done need to just calm the fuck down. Over and out.