Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave in India 2011

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha from the commentary booth. Wait, where are tha muthaflumpin’ windows? Maaan, it be dark in here.

So las’ weekend we slide on over India side fo’ tha first evah Indian Gee-to-tha-muthaflippin’-Pee. It be hot, it be dusty, there be a risk that a bro’s gonna eat somet’ing that ain’t good and he gonna shit he pants. But is any o’ these things gonna stop Crazy D rockin’ tha tighty whitey jeans? Two words fo’ y’all: No. Way. Two other words fo’ y’all: Scotch. Guard. Fo’ shiggedy.

So, out on tha track in tha qualificazzizzle, tha boy Sebby V jus’ slide it on in tha one slot. Man, that kid jus’ don’ quit. He wanna get he’s finger up at every oppo-muthafrizzing-tunity. Kinda reminds Crazy D of Crazy D heself when he be younger. But not on tha track. Know wha’am sayin’? Fo’ shimminy.

So come tha five-an’-out, Tha V Man by disappearin’ over tha horizon before them other cats know what be happ’nin’. That kid be cray-zee fo’ tha points! Meanwhile, there be some bad shit goin’ down in tha followin’ pack cuz ma buddy Tha Ham be havin’ another muthafizzin’ accident wit’ tha boy Filly M. What be wrong with them cats? They be touchin’ more than a bunch o’ lay-deez when Crazy D walk onto tha yacht. What make it worse, the stewards then go and lay some penalty shit on Tha Mass Man. Why they go pick on a homie like that? Tha boy can’t bearly remember to press the muthafunkin’ accelerator sometimes and then they make he do a drive through? It be like beating up tha special needs kid at school. Fo’ shillalah.

When tha tablecloth be waved, Sebby V be on tha one again with ma homeboy Jenny B on tha twos and Nando holding tha three slot. That be cool fo’ them cats, but maaan, ma boys Tha Ham and Filly M gotta sort their shit out, and soon. Know wha’am sayin’? Fo’ shippingforecast.

Meanwhile, the championship may be decided but there are still two very exciting races to come in this remarkable 2011 season and you’ll be able to catch them both in high definition, only on the BBC.