New 911 criticised

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Inside the new 911, yesterday

Porsche was under fire again this week as British car journalists launched a series of uncompromising attacks on the quality of the new 911’s radio.

‘In one fell swoop they have ruined their most iconic model,’ raged Trent Hammer of Dab Of Oppo magazine. ‘They probably think it’s better to have a radio that sounds clear, but a 911 isn’t a 911 unless the radio is crackly.’

This criticism was echoed by Tred Shuffel of Firm Motorist magazine. ‘Porsche probably believes a normal radio that unobtrusively plays music is somehow better,’ he wrote. ‘They are plain wrong. A 911 should have a radio that is distracting and keeps hissing, just as 911 radios have since the 1960s.’

‘We are sorry that British car journalists feel this way,’ said Porsche’s head of audio systems, Dr Wolf Teeshirt. ‘I can assure them that the 991 radio installation is of the highest quality and it was tested extensively on Nurburgring FM.’

Nonetheless, Porsche has promised that in future it will calibrate all of its radios to suit the tastes of people who borrow its cars for a week rather than actual customers who pay money for them.