Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave in Australia 2012

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on yo TV, ‘bout six hours after tha actual race be finished. Fo’ cost effectividdy.

So this weekend we slide on over upside down side fo’ tha Australiaiaiaian G-to-tha-Pee and this be like tha first day back at school. ‘Cept tha D’s uniform these days be tha nice blue shirt and tha muthaflippin’ tighty whitey jeans. Fo’ ball huggizzle.

So come tha three stage ‘cation to tha nation, ma buddy Tha Ham be sticking it on tha one slot wit’ ma homie Jenny B wingmannin’ on tha twos. Man, those Macs be fast. It jus’ go to prove that old mo’spo’ sayin’, “If somethin’ look good, it prolly be muthafunkin’ fast and shit”. Yea.

Nuff respec’ fo’ ma amie Ro Gros who be slammin’ it on tha three slot. C’est muthafackin’ bon. Tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma man Sebby V and ma local bro-cal, Webbo. Ain’t no lock out of tha front row fo’ the cats cuz they be hangin’ in tha row three, and ain’t cool fo’ ma brothers Nando an’ Filly M cuz they be so far back they can’t see tha Macs wit’out muthastumpin’ binoculars.

Come tha five an’ out, Jenny B, that cat be takin’ it and he be away on tha ones. Tha Ham, he ain’t havin’ such a good time, but Sebby V, he be all up on that shit and ting. Ro Gros drop it on tha two lap and ma homie Pasto Maldo, he be lookin’ sweet until tha las’ muthafrippin’ lap and then tha brother be kissin’ concrete. Fo’ unluckizzle.

Come tha three step spray ‘n’ wave, Jenny B be king o’ tha muthafunkin’ castle wit’ Tha V on tha twos and Da Ham, that cat don’ be happy cuz he only on tha threes. But it only be tha first race so don’ give it tha boo hoos bro. Fo’ psychologically fragizzle.

And don’t forget that there’s no need to get up early for the 2012 Petronas Malaysian Grand Prix next Sunday when you can enjoy a lovely lie in and then tune in to BBC1 and BBC1 HD at 2:45pm for a convenient and comprehensive highlights programme.