Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave reports from Malaysia

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha several hours after tha race and showin’ off his enormous package. Of highlights. Fo’ edittedizzle.

So, las’ weekend we slide on over Malay side fo’ tha Malaysian Gee to tha Pee and man, it be hot. It be the kinda conditions when Tha D be thankful fo’ tha awesome cooling power of tha tighty whitey jeans. Fo’ schweatytesticizzles.

So, in tha three stage fly by, ma boy Tha Ham be killin’ it on tha one slot wit’ ma homie J Bu slammin’ it on tha twos. That pretty-ass MC Laren be flyin’ out there. Tings ain’t so sweet fo’ ‘Rarri cuz that pullroddy piece o’ poo jus’ ain’t runnin’ right. Specially not wit’ tha no-mojo muthafunker Filly M at tha wheel.

See, we all be sayin’ that tha Prancin’ Ho’ be losin’ it, but come tha five red and dead, things ain’t be over till they be over. Man, suddenly it be wetter than a table o’ supermodels when they see Tha D bendin’ over in these jeans. Fo’ skintightizzle.

Ma race control bro Chaz ‘Ting, he be all like, this ain’t happnin’ and he stop tha race. But when that shit start up again who be that cat on tha ones? It be ma man Nando, and he be holdin’ on to that shit. But who this be all up on Tha Nando’s shit an’ ting? It be ma homie ‘Gio Prez an’ that little Mexican muthaflicker be drivin’ like a bad ass.

Come tha three step squirt ‘n’ smile, it be Nando on tha ones, Prezman on tha two and ma buddy Tha Ham on tha three slot. Fo’ grumpizzidy.

And do remember t that from the 13th to the 15th of April, the BBC will be broadcasting live from the Chinese Grand Prix with up to the minute coverage across the entire race weekend on BBC1 and BBC1 HD.