Crazy Dave

Crazy D reports from Bahrain 2012

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on tha Bee to tha Bee to tha Cee with a bulging package. Of highlights. Oh yea. So las’ weekend we slide on over Bahrain side and man, it be hot. That be the white heat of no democrasizzle. Fo’ sho’. But hey, nuff o’ that shit. If Crazy D was gonna do politics, he be on Question Time. And that ain’t gonna happen cuz the whole audience jus’ be askin’ ‘Damn, why you look so good in dem tighty jeans?’ Fo’ almost see ma genitizzles.

So, on Sat’day in tha three stage drive ta survive, who be runnin’ it on tha one slot but my old buddy Sebby V. Man, an’ we thought we ain’t gonna see that cat again this season. An’ come tha Sunday five an’ out, that fingering muthaflumper be all up on that shit. Tings ain’t so sweet for ma McHomies Jenny B and Tha Ham. They be having some bad shit go down wit’ their rubber. It jus’ wear too fast. Yea, when Crazy D be wit’ a lady, he know that can be a problem too, know wha’am sayin’? Fo’ problems with tha balance of tha chassizzle.

So it ain’t goin’ on fo’ tha MC Larens, but who be these homies bustin’ they moves at tha pointy end? No shit, it be ma brother K Raikk and that l’il Swiss bitch RoGro. Hot damn! Tha Raikmeister be all up on Sebby V’s shit and that holey cheese cuckoo clock muthaflicker Gro Bro be slammin’ past tha others like Crazy D in a tighty jeans clearance sale. Fo’ impressive pacezzle.

Come tha steps ‘n’ spray, it be Tha V Man on tha ones wit’ Raikko and Le Gro on tha twos an’ threes. That be some mighty fine shit fo’ tha Lotus homies. Fo’ confusing sponsorship situatizzle.

And don’t forget that on 13 May we’ll be bringing you live coverage of the Spanish Grand Prix starting at 12:10pm, only on BBC One and BBC One HD.