Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave at the 2012 Monaco GP

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha from the Monaco Gee to tha Pee. Conveniently close to ma apartment. Yea. Desirable postcodizzle.

So Thursday we slide on over Monte Carlo side but then Friday there ain’t no track action cuz F1 be gettin’ busy wit’ tha partay. Crazy D, sippin’ down Cristal. Difficult to get through BBC expensizzles.

Come tha three stage sprint ‘n’ pit who this be slammin’ it on tha ones but ma old homie Mickey Schu. Where that cat get so fast from again, huh? Thing is, tha Mickster, he be carryin’ a penalty from tha las’ race where he be had a senior moment and that be droppin’ him to tha six leaving ma brother M. Web parkin’ it on tha primo spot. Psychologically importantizzle.

Come tha five an’ bye, tha Webmaster be away faster than Crazy D when he hear about a tighty whitey jeans sale. Tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma old buddy Mickey Schu though cuz that brother be bangin’ and a bitchin’ and eventually he retire. Like he should o’ done befo’ tha start of this season! Yea, Crazy D made a funny. It also jus’ ain’t workin’ out fo’ ma boy P. Maldiddy neither. Fo’ erratic performancizzle.

Up tha pointy end, it be lookin’ sweet fo’ ma buddy Nicky Ro cuz that boyband bitch be holdin’ it on tha twos and who this be on he’s tail but ma brethren Nando. Man that dude be extractin’ performance from tha ‘Rarri. In your face, ongoing technical issues that need to be resolvizzled.

Come tha three step pop ‘n’ prince, it be Webbo on tha ones wit’ NiRo and Nando on tha twos an’ threes. Nuff respec’ to ma homie P. diddy Resta who be bringin’ it home on tha seven slot. The power of porridgizzle.

And remember, we won’t be broadcasting live from the Canadian Grand Prix on Sunday 10 June but we will have a comprehensive highlights programme starting at 10:30pm only on BBC One and the BBC HD channel.