Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave reports from the 2012 Canadian GP

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ on wit’ a full package… of highlights. So las’ weekend we slide on over Canadia side fo’ tha Canadian Gee to tha Pee an’ ma main homie Jakey H, he be lookin’ kinda weird. He be like smaller an’ he grow he hair and he be makin’ wit’ tha Scottish accent. But hey, ain’t nothin’ wrong with that las’ ting. Yea, pleasant on tha earizzles.

So Tha Humph growin’ boobies ain’t tha only ting that be weird cuz who this be slammin’ it on tha one slot in tha three stage drive ta survive? It’s ma old buddy Sebby V. Yea, that pointy finger cat be back an’ he be meanin’ business. Only ting he gotta worry about is ma main man Da Ham cuz that homie be findin’ he form too. Sweet like a sale at a tighty whitey jeans store. Welcome returns to formizzle.

So come tha Sunday red five an’ out, it be lookin’ like Tha V Man be drivin’ away ’11-style. But this race, it be all about tha rubber, know wha’am sayin’? Sebby V and Nando, they lookin’ strong and my buddy LewHa, well he be sufferin’ cuz them cats at M C Laren, they couldn’t do a good stop this season if they’s lives depended on it. Faster to take it to Kwik Fitizzle.

Ting is, it don’ matter cuz Tha Ham be on tha right strategy and those other homies, they be getting’ degredashizzle all in they faces. An’ who this be takin’ advantage of they problems but ma homie RoGro and ma hombre Tha Prez. Nuff respec’ to tha relative newcomizzles.

Come tha three step pop an’ prance, it be Tha Ham on tha ones wit’ those newbie motherfluckers on tha twos an’ threes. Tha V and Nando, they be almost as sad as ma buddy Jenny B who struggle on tha 16 slot. Another weekend of disappointizzle.

And don’t forget that the BBC will have full, live coverage of the European Grand Prix from Valencia on Sunday 24 June starting at 12:10pm on BBC One, on the red button and online.