Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on the Bizzle Bizzle to tha Cizzle. So las’ weekend we slide on over Español side fo’ tha Euro Gee to tha Pee. Yea, that be some strong ass muthaflumpin’ sunshine down there. Lucky Crazy D packed tha tighty whitey jeans fo’ tha trip. They lookin’ fine in the sunshine. Slightly sweaty testiclizzles.
So when it come to tha Big Q, who this be slammin’ it on tha ones but ma buddy Sebby V. Yea, that cat got he’s pace back fo’ sho’. But he can’t take it slow cuz he got ma homie Tha Ham on tha twos and right behind on tha three slot it’s that Venezuelan muthafunker P. Maldiddy. Occasional flashes of brilliancizzle.
Ting is, come tha five an’ out, things be getting’ all mixed up fo’ shiggedy. Normally, tha Valencia race, it be long an’ pointless an’ boring. It be jus’ like one of Eddie Jordan’s stories. Yea, Tha D Man made a funny. But this year, tha shit get real and this hot damn race be so excitin’ Crazy D almost soil he’s tighty whiteys. Not quite. Tha D leave that to Timo Glock. Uncomfortable infection of the intestinizzle.
So we got cats all slammin’ it up and there be some shit on tha track which bring out tha safety Benz. All tha homies, they be divin’ into tha pits and ma boy Tha Ham, he be losin’ time cuz tha Mac Daddies, they havin’ a problem wit’ they jack. Another pit stop disgracizzle.
Suddenly, who this be slidin’ through tha pack but ma homie Nando. That be some home crowd inspirationizzle. That boy be on tha ones befo’ y’all know it and he be takin’ it home. Tings ain’t so gravy for ma brother Tha Ham and that erratic muthafibber P. Mal cuz they be swappin’ sponsors, and that shit ain’t good.
Come tha tablecloth it be Nando takin’ it fo’ Spain wit’ ma boy K Raikk on tha twos. But wait, who be this old man on tha three slot. It that multiple world championshizzle muthaflipper Mickey Schu. Man, that podium be rockin’ like it be 2005.
Join us in two week’s time when we’ll be live from Silverstone for the all-important British Grand Prix, starting at 12:10pm on Sunday 8 July.
