Vauxhall reveals Adam

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The Adams family, yesterday

There was good news for people who like things that look like other things this week as Vauxhall revealed its new city car, the Adam. The new runabout was immediately greeted with delight by some people we’ve just made up.

‘I’ve been looking at getting an Audi A1 but I really only wanted the roof,’ said Sallington Smeeee of Grunting. ‘I was planning on constantly parking behind a medium height hedge but now I can just buy this new Vauxhall Alan!’

Gredville Sedge of Fighting was equally effusive; ‘I’m a massive fan of the Fiat 500, but only the wheel arch surfacing when viewed from the front three-quarter angle,’ he said. ‘Now I don’t have to buy the rest of a Fiat I don’t want because instead I can get this new Vauxhall Edam!’

There was more praise from Misby Snidge of Belm; ‘Last month I almost bought a Citroen DS3 but it bothered me that one of the roof pillars had a gap at the top when really I wanted a car with a contrived gap at the bottom of the roof pillar. Now all my problems are solved with this new Vauxhall Adnams!’

Cresby Hammertime of Chease-on-Towst was just as enthusiastic; ‘Wow! I’ve been thinking of buying an old-shape Ford Ka, but only because I really like the shape of the tailgate and rear lights when viewed in profile,’ he said. ‘Trouble is, they’re a bit too cheap for me. Happily, now I don’t have to spend £500 to get one because I can spend over £10,000 on this new Vauxham Anal!’

‘Hang on,’ said the rest of the world. ‘Haven’t we seen all this before?’