Aston Vanquish EXCLUSIVE!

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A man standing quite close to the new Vanquish, yesterday

Aston Martin’s brand new Vanquish coupe doesn’t go on sale until late 2012 and no one outside the company will be permitted behind the wheel for a few months yet but Sniff Petrol was given an exclusive invitation to fly to a foreign country in order to stand near the new car and then write a lengthy feature on what it was like.

Even after a long and expensive flight, our jet lag was quickly cancelled out by sheer excitement at the prospect of being able to stand relatively close to a new Aston Martin. Before that could happen we met with Neil Vestibule, one of the car’s senior engineers who told us a little about the aims of the Vanquish project.

‘Blah blah blah more focussed,’ he said proudly. ‘Blah blah blah lighter, stiffer, enhanced dynamics blah blah blah customer feedback,’ Vestibule concluded. ‘Blah blah blah think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!’ he added with a smile.

Following this completely uninformative chat it was time at last to meet the new Aston Martin and to stand quite close to it. With an ease that only comes with familiarity, Vestibule walked towards the front of the car and stopped about 12 feet away. Sniff Petrol didn’t need to be asked twice to go and stand next to him. This was it. We were actually standing quite near to the new Aston Martin Vanquish. ‘Blah blah blah sculpted, more assertive,’ Vestibule noted.

After we had stood near the car for about 10 minutes Vestibule expertly led me to the side of the car and we stood near it for what felt like about the same amount of time. I noted that the car was very quiet. ‘Blah blah blah prototype, blah blah blah re-tuned for production,’ Vestibule reminded me. Sniff Petrol also realised that the engine was switched off.

Finally, with what seemed like no extra exertion on his part, Vestibule led me to stand near the back of the car. ‘Blah blah blah aerodynamics blah blah blah something about golf bags,’ he said. It was striking just how effortless it seemed to be to stand reasonably close to the Vanquish.

You can’t tell a lot about how a car drives just from standing near to it but… actually, you can’t tell anything about how a car drives just from standing near to it and this whole article has been a total waste of time. Sorry.