Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave at the Indian GP 2012

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha in a sprayed-on trousers stylee. So las’ weekend we slide on over Buddh side fo’ tha Indian Gee to tha Pee. It be hot, it be dusty, it be tha toughest test yet fo’ ma tighty whitey jeans. Mad props to ma brothers at Scotchgard. Spray on stain resistizzle.

So come tha Sat’day three way, it be ma homie Sebby V be stickin’ it on tha ones wit’ ma buddy M Web on tha twos. Man, those itty bitty Red Bulls be on fire. Ma homies Da Ham and Jenny B be slammin’ it on tha trees and fo’s, Nando and Filly M be following up and the crowd be fallin’ asleep. Man, that be some boring ass shit. Damn this new generation Tilkizzle shizzle.

Come tha red-red-red-red-red-an’ dead, tha boy Sebby V jus’ drive off into the distance and there ain’t nothin’ no cat can do about it. Or no dog. They put up extra fences and shit. So wit’ tha V man on he’s own, y’all be expecting the rest of the pack to be displayin’ some serious action. And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout tha kind that happens when Crazy D take he’s jeans on a stroll ‘cross tha dancefloor. Hot damn. But no, there ain’t shee-it goin’ down in this race. Crazy D, he get so bored he be on tha internet orderin’ two dozen inoffensively pastel shirts. It well worth buyin’ in that quantity, y’all see.  Qualifiy fo’ free next day deliverizzle.

Come tha steps ‘n’ spray, it be Sebby V on tha ones, Nando on tha twos and Sharky Mark on tha three spot. What tha’ mean fo’ tha championshizzle? Well, as ma pit lane homie T Krav always say, it ain’t over ‘til it’s over. I think he got that sayin’ from he’s brother. Fo shiggetazizzle.

And don’t forget that we’ll have live coverage of the entire Abu Dhabi Grand Prix this weekend, starting at 12:10pm only on BBC One.