Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave on the 2013 Australia GP

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Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha brand new Gee to tha Pee season twenty oh muthaflickin’ thirteen. And to get this party started, las’ weekend we slide on over upsidedown stylee fo’ tha muddyflumpin’ Australian Gee Pee of Australia. Nizzle worrizzles, mateizzle.

So, this bein’ a new season an’ ting, ain’t nobody know what’s gonna go down befo’ tha shit gets real out on tha T to tha armac. Is tha MC Laren gonna fly? Is them iddy bitty Red Bulls gonna smack ‘em and rack ‘em? Has ma homie Da Ham made tha right choice by decidin’ to hang wit’ tha MC Edes. Come tha triple dip dirty dash, it still ain’t mothaflackin’ clear cuz it be rainin’ big stylee. Man, it be wetter than a wine bar full of laydeez when Crazy D walk in rockin’ tha tighty whitey jeanz. Yo can see the outlinizzle of ma gentizzles.

Finally, come tha Sunday mornin’ all tha shit be shakin’ down and it be ma pointy finger muthaflipper Sebby V be slammin’ it on tha ones with ma flippy flop wearin’ local homie M Web on tha twos. But who this be on tha three slot but ma team-switchin’ bredren Tha Ham. Looky like he made tha right choice cuz ma Mac daddy Jenny B jus’ be clinging on to tha ten hole. Upsidedown suspensizzle componizzle catastrophizzle.

Come tha red-red-red-red-red an’ gone, Sebby V be flyin’, Webbo be strugglin’ and who this be pullin’ tha moves but ma big eyed Brazil bro Filly M. Hey, what happen to that homie durin’ tha off season? Did he find he’s pace down tha back of tha sofa cushizzles? Ting is, it ain’t all gravy fo’ tha Fo’ rarris cuz who this be sneakin’ up tha pointy end like a two-stop stalkin’ horse? It be that mumbly muthaflupper K Raikk and come tha wavy tablecloth he be takin’ it all tha way to tha fizz an’ flags. On tha two it be ma heavy brow homie Nando wit’ Sebby V on tha three. A trio of solidizzle startizzles to the seasonizzle.

And of course, don’t forget to join me, Eddie Jordan and our new host, Suzi Perry, for highlights of the Malaysian Grand Prix, this Sunday at 2pm only on BBC One and BBC One HD.