Motorsport News

2013 Bahrain GP preview

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Pustulent Portuguese Wikipedia enthusiast Wurke Esperiense looks forward to this weekend’s F1 action.

If you are visiting the Bahrain Grand Prix it’s worth remembering that banned items include alcohol, freedom of speech and anything that depicts Angela Lansbury.

Since Bahrain is a dry country, organisers have had to find an alternative to Champagne for the drivers on the podium. In Abu Dhabi they give out rose water whereas in Bahrain they use the carbonated tears of children whose fathers have been imprisoned without trial.

In 2012 a  group of protesters gathered outside the entrance to the track. The thing they were protesting about was the race itself which they claimed was ‘usually quite boring’. All involved were later arrested and killed.

The track itself is tough on brakes, tyres, cooling systems and anyone who dares to question its authority.

One person who sees no human rights issues whatsoever in Bahrain is triple world champion Sir Jackie Stewart. ‘Everything here is perfectly fine,’ he said, speaking from his 12 room suite inside one of the Bahraini royal family’s many, many palaces.

Last year’s Bahrain race was won by Sebastian Vettel, a feat he managed without betraying anyone. Third place was taken by Romain Grosjean before he decided to stop crashing into things and being fast.