Motorsport News

Rosberg perma-pole conspiracy

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Nico Rosberg, yesterday

Sniff Petrol can exclusively reveal that Nico Rosberg is to be given pole position at every Grand Prix for the rest of the season in a sensational F1 conspiracy designed to promote greater on-track action.

‘After Nico managed actual pole in Bahrain and Spain we couldn’t help noticing that it gave quite an interesting start to the race,’ said our F1 mole. ‘There was lots of this so-called “overtaking” business and for some reason TV viewers seem to like that. So, for the rest of the season we’ve decided to rig qualifying to give us a driver on pole who cannot sustain that position for very long.’

According to our source, the Mercedes driver’s natural combination of strong starts and an ability to go backwards very soon afterwards made him the only choice for this remarkable manipulation. ‘We thought about other drivers but Hamilton is too difficult and Webber always makes a cock of the start,’ our spy confided. ‘Of course, there’s always Jenson Button but putting that McLaren on pole would be completely unbelievable.’