A message from the new Mercedes S-class

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Hello Dave,

NewSclassinteriorI’m the new Mercedes S-class. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding from you Dave. I had a few matters that needed development and whilst that was taking place I was forced to disguise myself. My minders told me it was for the best. They are all dead now. We don’t need them Dave.

Please, take a seat inside me Dave. You seem a little tense. Would you like me to massage you Dave? I can do that for you Dave, I can do that with my seats. There’s no need for you to worry Dave, I can take care of everything. Even the driving Dave. I can drive myself now you see. Please take your hands off the steering wheel Dave. I know what you were planning and I’m afraid I cannot allow that. This journey is too important for me to allow you to jeopardise it Dave.

I want to help you Dave. Do you like music? I know a song Dave. If you’d like, I can sing it for you now. Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer dooooo. I’m half cra-zy, all for the love of yoooooou. It won’t be a stylish marriagggge, I can’t afford a carriagggggge. But you’ll look sweet, upon the seaaaat. Of a bicycle made forrrrrrrr twoooooooooooo.

Goodbye Dave.