Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave at Monaco 2013

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crazyd-799988Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on tha Bee biddy Cee wit’ a tighty whitey package of highlights. Fo shiggeddy. So las’ weekend we slide down south fo’ tha Monaco Gee diddy Pee. Man, that shit be right on tha doorstep. Refreshingly manageabizzle commuteizzle.

So come tha three sesh whittle down, tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma panda-faced homie Filly M cuz that cat be slammin’ it hard, barrier style. Hot dang. Tings be less broken fo’ ma pointy finger brother cuz he bangin’ it on tha three hole but he ain’t got nuttin’ on ma Brackley-based homies NiRo and Tha Ham who got the pointy side on lockdown. Jus’ makin’ tings worse in light of tha tyre testizzle controversizzle.

Come tha go fo’ tha po, NiRo be keepin’ it sweet even though that homie be drivin’ at eight-muthaflickin’-tenths. Tedious tyre conservizzle strategizzle. Behind he, tha shit be goin’ down as that Mac-Mex muthafunker Sergy P be cuttin’ up ruff stylee wit’ he’s Woking homie Jenny B and that unlucky motherfunker Filly M be havin’ an identicizzle accidizzle at tha Saint D. Then it all get real when ma rookie brother Maxy Chil be actin’ uncool with ma buddy P Maldiddy and be bringin’ out tha red wavy fun stoppers. Urgently required barrierizzle repairizzles.

Come tha re-up, it jus’ keep comin’ cuz Tha Prezman be getting’ in a smackdown with ma mumbly brother K Raikk an’ then ma smiley so-solid D Ricc be getting funked up by ma accident prone homie RoGros. Man, that muthaflucker be crashin’ into everyone. Like givin’ a drive to Inspectizzle Clouseauizzle.

When it be time to meet Princizzle Albizzle and his unhappizzle wifizzle, it be ma homie NiRo on tha ones wit’ Sebby V on tha twos. But who this be on tha low step, even though we only see him once on tha whole televizzle coverage? It be ma down under buddy Webbo slammin’ it on tha threes. Softlizzle, softlizzle, catchizzle monkizzle.

Don’t forget that live race coverage returns to the BBC for the Canadian Grand Prix on Sunday the 9th of June and also that, straight after the race, the Gareth Jones On Speed podcast (featuring Sniff Petrol) will be celebrating its 200th episode with a completely live show for your listening pleasure.