Justice Malheureusement (chairman of the FIA International Tribunal hearing): Ladies and gentlemen, after much deliberation my colleagues and I have reached a verdict in this hearing. It is our view that, by taking part in the disputed three day tyre testing session in Barcelona, Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team clearly and wilfully acted in breach of articles 1 and 151 of the International Sporting Code. We therefore have no choice but to punish the team to the full extent of our powers.
Sir Philip Ecspensyve (Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 legal representative): My client regretfully understands your verdict and certainly hopes it won’t cause Mercedes to decide that they no longer want to participate in Formula 1.
Justice Malheureusement: The punishment is as follows; Mercedes is to pay a fine of 100 million dollars and will be stripped of all world championship points accrued…
Bernard Ecclestone: [coughs loudly]
Justice Malheureusement: Erm… accrued to date in the 2013 seas…
Jean Todt: [coughs very loudly]
Justice Malheureusement: I’m sorry, I appear to have mis-read my own writing. The punishment accorded to Mercedes F1 is to be told that they are very naughty and to spend the next five minutes looking at their shoes. Furthermore, they will be sent to bed tonight with no supper.
Sir Philip Ecspensyve: My client respectfully accepts this punishment.
Justice Malheureusement: Good. Oh, and they can’t take part in the forthcoming young driver test day.
Sam Bird: [anguished cry]
