Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave reports from Japan 2013

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crazyd-799988Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha by hangin’ awkwardly around nearby until your PR man say it be okay to be chattin’. Uncomfortable gridwizzle walkizzle. Hot dang!

So las’ weekend we slide on over J-side fo’ tha Japanese Gee diddy Pee, an’ after las’ week in tha K-rock what be all these homies be doin’ in tha banked seatin’ watchin’ tha racin’ an’ ting? Oh yea, they be called ‘crowds’. No substitute for actual national racingizzle heritizzle. Hot sauce!

So come tha three-try fly-by, who this be slammin’ it on tha ones but ma whole loada squash homie M Web, takin’ tha prize from ma brother Sebby V who be havin’ some shee-it wit’ he’s K-to-tha-ERS system. Tings be sweet for ma consta-crashin’ homie RoGro who be slottin’ it ahead of K Raikk and ma strugglin’-to-get-a-seat next year brethren Filly M who be slidin’ it on tha six, ahead of he’s teamhomie Nando. Man, it be a sweet day to be a number twoizzle driverizzle. Hot potato!

Come tha five an’ come alive, who this cat be slicin’ up the sides but tha sideburny motherfunker RoGro and that homie be makin’ it stick. Tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma buddy Tha Ham cuz that homie be poppin’ he’s rubber. And me ain’t talkin’ about wit’ a laydee, know wha’am sayin’? Pretty soon, that cat be down but what the fluck be goin’ on at tha pointy end cuz RoGro be losin’ he’s numero uno presumo to tha peroxide muthaflumper Sebby V. Before you know it, M Web be makin’ tha moves too, fo’ sho’. Come tha vary height step an’ spray, it be Sebby V on tha ones, M Web on tha twos and Gro-to-tha-J on the three spot. Ain’t no one gonna stop them ReBu motherfolders now, even if they say it be a mathematicalizzle possibilitizzle. Hot half a chicken and a spicy rice from Nando’s!

Don’t forget that you’ll be able to see all the action from the forthcoming Indian Grand Prix in two weeks’ time, live on BBC One and BBC One HD with additional content on the red button.