As Britain was last night BATTERED by STRONG BREEZINESS, the country’s motoring organisations were quick to open their pie holes, warning of TRAVEL CHAOS and the dangers of driving in a SLIGHT GUST.
‘Blah blah exercise caution blah blah remain alert blah blah unless absolutely necessary,’ said a spokesman for the British Drivers’ Society of Motoring.
‘Something something patronising twaddle that even a four year old could work out for themselves,’ he added.
‘Damn!’ said every other motoring organisation. ‘That’s exactly what we were going to say.’