The High Court this week heard allegations that, in his attempts to stay in charge of F1 during the sale of the Formula One Group, Bernie Ecclestone made a “corrupt agreement”.
One of the first of many to express shock at this allegation was a bear; ‘I’m frankly staggered at this news,’ the large ursine creature said whilst extruding some faeces in an area of densely tree-covered land.
There was equal amazement in Rome as Pope Francis himself confessed to being ‘absolutely stunned’ by the claims whilst repeatedly crossing himself surrounded by crucifixes, incense and Bibles.
News of the allegations made against Ecclestone even reached as far afield as Tennessee in the United States, where Sniff Petrol spoke exclusively to singer Dolly Parton. ‘I simply can’t believe someone would say such a thing about Bernie,’ the country superstar gasped. ‘Sorry if I sound sleepy honey,’ she added. ‘I just woke up and my view is entirely of my ceiling.’
The High Court battle continues with Ecclestone’s legal team now strongly rejecting claims that the F1 supremo is ‘small’ and has ‘a ridiculous hairstyle’.