Motorsport News

Eddie Irvine sentenced again

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Eddie Irvine, yesterday
Eddie Irvine, yesterday

Just hours after receiving a six month prison sentence for an incident in a Milanese nightclub, Eddie Irvine has been sentenced to a further 18 months’ incarceration for crimes committed during his time in Formula 1.

A court in Milan has served the additional sentence after hearing allegations against Irvine that include:

– Claiming to be better than other drivers (even though he wasn’t)
– Wearing those wrap-around sunglasses that instantly make you look really annoying
– Mistakenly believing that ‘Irish’ is an automatic synonym for ‘charming’
– Knobbing about in a speedboat with no shirt on looking really pleased with himself
– Shagging

Italian sources say that Irvine is expected to serve at least some of the new sentence in a Milanese prison which he will then buy, fill with marble and an integrated sound system, and then sell on for a profit.

In a statement, the Northern Irish driver completely ignored the recent news and just went on and on about how brilliant he is.