Aston in new recall fiasco

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An Aston Martin, yesterday

Just days after recalling 17,590 cars for a possible throttle pedal defect, Aston Martin has been forced to recall every car it has made in the last 10 years after discovering a software glitch which could cause the message ‘power, beauty, soul’ to appear on the instrument display.

‘This is purely a precautionary recall,’ stressed Aston Martin spokesman Ashton Martyn-Spowksmun. ‘The error does not affect the running of the car but may cause feelings of disappointment and despair in owners, and perhaps even some light vomiting. We are inviting all our customers to bring their cars into a dealership at their convenience so that the car’s display protocol upon start-up can be re-programnmed to look a bit less sodding desperate.’

However, a Sniff Petrol investigation has exposed a series of other problems with Astons that go beyond the throttle pedal and dash display issues so far acknowledged. These include ignition systems sourced from a Chinese supplier in which the normal key was accidentally replaced with an idiotic glass block and body panels from a Scandinavian supplier which were wrongly specced so that all models in the Aston range accidentally look exactly the same.