New ‘Ring bid shock

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The Nurburgring, yesterday

Just a day after a German car parts maker claimed to have bought the Nurburgring, the famous track has been snapped from under their noses by an audacious bid from the Nissan GT-R development team.

‘Our bid was not the most powerful but it was technically advanced and we believe that enabled it to punch above its weight,’ said circuit development boss for Nissan, Sir Kit Development-Bossfornis-san. ‘We are delighted that our bid was so competitive and will give GT-R owners something else to crap on and on about on the internet for months to come’.

Nissan sources say that, in line with the car it so famously helps to develop, the newly renamed GT-Ring will undergo changes every year in order to make it faster, each alteration so tiny that there seems precious little point to it.

One corollary of Nissan’s successful ‘Ring takeover, however, is that other car makers will no longer be able to use it to develop their own cars. ‘Oh good,’ said comfort enthusiasts, yesterday.