Mercedes this week revealed its Concept Coupe SUV, a prelude to the forthcoming MLC production car which will aim to beat BMW’s X6 in the race to sell cars to utterly ghastly people.
‘For too long BMW has had its own way in selling cars to fucking dreadful human beings,’ admitted Merc marketing director Marc Merketing-Direktor. ‘The Concept Coupe SUV shows that we too understand how to appeal to customers who are a despicable waste of blood and organs’.
Mercedes insiders say that in order to ensure the Concept Coupe SUV hit the spot, its design team spent several months wearing vile gold jewellery and living in hideous new-build houses, strutting around with a thick-necked sense of entitlement. Sources say this phase of the design process was so realistic, one designer accidentally married a dim-witted, grapefruit-titted, orange-skinned skeleton.
‘We really think we have what it takes to beat the BMW X6,’ Merketing-Direktor boasted. ‘In future, this will be the first choice of car for what, in German, are known as “cuntz”’.